Tuesday, February 21, 2006


It's been a long time, I shouldn'ta left you, without a dope beat to step to...

Heyya. Been a bit. Thought I’d drop a bit of updating in this here spot. I can’t believe I neglected to mention it in the last post, but there was some very good news during our last visit to the doctor’s office, not our regular obgyn, but where we went for genetic counseling, and where we get the sonograms, well, anyway, couple weeks back we went in for what they call a fetal heart echo, it’s wherein they get some really good views of the ole ticker and see how it’s doing. Well, our lil darling, her heart is pumping and bumping away, and there are no signs (furious wood knocking) of any trouble. Even if there is some trouble, the doc says, it’s minor, meaning that if there was anything really really serious, like valves being connected to the wrong chambers or things like that, we’d know already. Ditto with the stomach and kidneys, all appear to be in perfect working order, at least at this stage.

We have another visit in a couple weeks, so hopefully things will be similar in the good news arena. The baby is kicking like crazy lately! She definitely wants to be here. That was one of the things my wife and I discussed the most, amid torrents of tears and fear and self doubt, during going back & forth about what to do, what if there were health problems, what if we brought this child into the world that had serious physical ailments and would resent that we ever brought her here to suffer?? Well, that does not (at least for now) seem to be the case. She is knocking on the door and appears to be anxious and eager to join us in this world whether the other kids and the world at large are going to be nice to her or not.

We told the family and everyone else that seemed to be required that we are having a girl. We have told no one yet of the down syndrome factor in the equation. We still have four months to go until the birth, estimated at June 9th at this juncture. Everyone is suitably excited, according to my master plan. Let them build emotional attachment, so that theoretically when they hear what will probably be at first very frightening and devastating news, they will already have invested themselves in this child and will be much less likely to write her off (not that, I hope in my heart, they ever would have anyway?? But you never know, even about your closest and most loved, until the chips come down, what will happen?) we keep reminding ourselves that when we do give the news to everyone, that we must be patient and non judgmental of people’s initial reaction, that the common perception of down syndrome and that of the potential of people with said condition is about a thousand degrees off base and that it is now our job to educate those around us, and our daughter’s future extended family, that she is, yes, going to be a little different, but still a child with unlimited possibilities and love to give and should be treated as such and given equal if not more love and caring and respect in return. Don’t take my daughter lightly, said Joe Malone, I guarantee she will surprise you in her capacity for things of which were never considered that she could do, he said with just the slightest bit of fear and trepidation and the largest amounts of hope and love and awe for the miracle of the creation of life.

Friday, February 10, 2006


I don't pretend to understand all of which I say...

Wellie wellie well. Hi there. Thanks to the two commenters for saying howdy back (or prior) to me. All is well, you know, considering. We’re still freaking out here & there. Her more than me. She wonders if it’s something she did, if she was too stressed when we were trying to conceive, I reassure her that it was nothing either of us did, just a quirk of fate, that we should be happy this baby is coming to us, that we will take care of this baby, who will need special attention (something that all babies need, I remind her), and it is a blessing that this innocent little child is coming to someone who loves her and is ready for her and will educate themselves and do the best for her that they can possibly do. I admit that I have my moments of worry & concern as well, often, in fact. It’s hard when you look at little babies (which seem to be everywhere all of a sudden) and they all look so normal, which is of course relative, but I wonder, why them, why us, and then I know, or I think, that’s just the way it is, not that I necessarily believe in God per se, but I do believe that things happen for a reason (the hell if I know what those reasons are, though) and this child may be an extra challenge, but she may well give us extra joy of which we cannot possibly imagine at this time. In fact, I know she will, I know in my heart (and in my mind) that the intangibles and the degree to which she will make myself, my wife, and everyone (hopefully) and anyone she (my daughter) comes in contact with, better people, for the sheer understanding she will give them that quote unquote the norm and theoretical commonalities are not necessarily that which should be cherished any more than that which is different, and that underestimating those that you assume to be lesser in some way are almost always surprisingly superior in ways and means of what were thought by the obliviously ignorant to be inconsequential, and these facets and talents, when properly tapped and nurtured and given shine to be understood in the frameworks away from the money fame television society and given due justice in the courts of the heart prove to be of a worth all more important and vital to the health and sanctity of society as a whole than what could ever have been conceived, theoretically or not. Ummm, whatever that means. In simple terms, er, or, more groundedly, I believe she’ll have a unique effervescence and abundant talents all her own requiring no quantification or stamps of approval from the society as a whole, and if it comes, great, if it doesn’t, she’ll go on her merry way and live a life full of popcorn and daffodils. Ok, I’m in left field. Apologies and thx for listening. Have a good weekend, week, year, & life. Aloha.

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