Saturday, November 11, 2006


pining for the fjords

Ah yes, hello people of the internet, well I was just crying my eyes out like a little lamb (do lambs cry?) all over watching an episode of signing time. Let me set the table for ya, well, my wife and child are out of town, gone a little over a week now, and I miss them terribly, especially the little one. I miss my wife too, but it just gets me thinking about what I’m missing with our little girl. When we planned this trip, we were so young and unknowing (ah those were the days of 3 months ago) but seriously, as a new parent, I think it is impossible to realize at the time when your child is say 1 or 2 months, just how much of a distinct personality this child is going to have at 3, 4, 5 months, how much of a little person they are going to be already! And how you want to be there for every minute, second, nanosecond to record observe and cheer on and hug and kiss and cheer and smile and love. Sigh.

Anyway, dang, I’m recording these signing time episodes off the tivo to clear out room on the DVR, putting them onto videocassettes so as to keep them for our little girl to watch again and again, and honestly, I’d watched bits and pieces, but I’d never really sat down and watched one, ya know? Well, I watched most of this one, and was blown away with how much I was affected with just seeing the kids sign, and thinking of my little girl, and her signing, and her learning things, and interacting with the world, and here I am an ocean away. And THEN the host starts singing this song about “you shine, you shine” all about, apparently, children with disabilities, and how kids do things at their own pace, and this kid will do that when they do it, and it just drop floored me to tears, and the interesting thing is that I was crying not for any type of reason involving feeling bad for my little girl, nothing like that, I was crying about thinking her doing those things when she’s ready and what if I miss them, and crying tears of joy just thinking about how true it is what this lady was saying about “I’m so glad you’re mine” and seeing clips of moms & dads kissing and hugging their kids as they smile and learn and interact with the world, at their own pace, and how blown away the world should be, and is, I guess, by any kid with a disability, about the bravery involved in that, and how our daughter, she’s just so brave by nature, it’s not something she thinks about and does (or maybe she does?) but it is so instinctive, her survival instinct, her zest for life, she doesn’t know anything’s different about her, she just wants to enjoy herself and smile at Mommy & Daddy and play with her dolly and laugh and make cute little sounds and all the millions of things that she’s going to do as she lives her beautiful life.

Wow. I love, love, LOVE, being a father, and I miss my little girl, and my wife, but absence makes the heart grow fonder, although I doubt that’s possible at this point (ie I’m at maximum fondness), but hey, whatever gets ya through the day. Reunions are always a blast, the excitement, the catharsis, the satisfaction of verifying in the actuality what you never lost sight of in your heart, yup, good times ahead, and that’s not to say I’m laying up feeling bad at all times, no, no, I talk to them every day, hear my baby’s sounds and babbles and coos and aahs and cries and whimpers and get the updates, but it just ain’t the same as being there, but I’m a tough one and I do my thing and life is for trooping through and living the dang thang, right? Reeeiiigghhht. So enjoy it, okey doke, more knowledge (or vague imitation thereof) in the next few days.

Signing Times is quite addictive. Often times when my mind is clear of activities I begin playing back the pizza song, or I'm a boy, I'm a girl, or even the emotions song.

Rachel did well with this product as it is so captivating that even my teens and the five year old are hooked.

I can't relate to the love of a father to his child, but I know that motherly love is similar. I can relate to that stop the clocks, the world now stands still, while I bathe in the glory of my littlest one.
I don't know how often you check your bog, but I hope you all have a good Xmas anyway :)
And a Happy New Year too :)

Just thought I'd drop by and say "hello". We, too, love the Signing Time series and that "Shine" song gets me every time.
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?