Monday, March 27, 2006
sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick...
Hiya. How ya’ll (computer screen) doin?? Gude, I hope. Pardon my misspelling of the word good, I like to do the same thing with prolly and tonite. Hope it doesn’t bodda you too much, har har. Excuses, excuses, pork chops & apple sauce, all that gude stuff.
Anyway on to the business at hand. Well, as you can see, I’ve written less & less in this here space, and I really think it’s because I’ve had less and less concerns?? Or just the fact that reality is settling in so much that it is no longer a thing of which to think overly? Not sure. Still think about it of course, but, eh, you know, or you don’t, either way, it’s cool.
Well, we did come to a decision of sorts. We have decided, at least until we change our mind, which I don’t think we will, to not tell anyone about the fact that our unborn child has down syndrome. Screw it. Ha ha. No, seriously, but really. Our reasoning: we do not want people to see our child as a condition, but as a child. Yes, of course, after they meet her, interact with her, fall madly in love with her, which they must! Of course, then, we will inform them of the trisomy 21, but call us crazy, we just cannot stomach the idea of all our family having this gigantic preconceived notion of our future bundle of joy when and if this notion may not bear fruition and, well, I dunno, that’s what we’ve decided.
We even had this whole letter written up, telling the news, letting everybody know, and we thought, you know what, why we doing this? Our real inspiration was this online article that I found. It’s about this couple that found out post natally (after birth for you non latin majors) that their baby son had DS. Well, one side of inlaws was there, at the birth, so they knew right of the bat, but the other side of the family, they didn’t want to announce it to them until they’d been able to see their newborn son.
Ms. Lim Messina's family had been present at the birth and were aware of Evan's condition. But with Mr. Messina's family, they said nothing about Down syndrome until four months later, when they traveled to New Jersey for a family visit. They wanted the family to meet and play with Evan first. Only then, once they had held him in their arms, did they tell them that Evan has Down syndrome. The reaction, says Mr. Messina, was supportive.
I think this following quote really clinched it for us:
"I wouldn't send out a birth announcement saying that my son, the pre-diabetic, had been born, or that my son, who has a genetic predisposition to obesity, had been born," said Mr. Messina…
which makes perfect sense! Our daughter is a little baby, a beautiful girl, a young life that will blossom into whatever she chooses to do within this world, she is any number of a million different things, one of which is associated with the fact that she has trisomy 21 also known as down syndrome but she is not “down syndrome.” And like it or not, once people hear that thing about her, if they have not had a chance to meet her and experience her presence and get to know her without the shadow of the context, especially in light of social stigma and the popular misconceptions and archaic prevalent thinking in reference to this part of her, people will judge her by this and categorize her by this and not get to fully experience the richness that is HER, SHE a small little PERSON, who is unique and one in a billion and all those other good things that a proud father loves to say.
Okey doke, I’m done babbling at you (Hi wall!) for now. Tell me what you think? Or not. have a good one, nonetheless….
Anyway on to the business at hand. Well, as you can see, I’ve written less & less in this here space, and I really think it’s because I’ve had less and less concerns?? Or just the fact that reality is settling in so much that it is no longer a thing of which to think overly? Not sure. Still think about it of course, but, eh, you know, or you don’t, either way, it’s cool.
Well, we did come to a decision of sorts. We have decided, at least until we change our mind, which I don’t think we will, to not tell anyone about the fact that our unborn child has down syndrome. Screw it. Ha ha. No, seriously, but really. Our reasoning: we do not want people to see our child as a condition, but as a child. Yes, of course, after they meet her, interact with her, fall madly in love with her, which they must! Of course, then, we will inform them of the trisomy 21, but call us crazy, we just cannot stomach the idea of all our family having this gigantic preconceived notion of our future bundle of joy when and if this notion may not bear fruition and, well, I dunno, that’s what we’ve decided.
We even had this whole letter written up, telling the news, letting everybody know, and we thought, you know what, why we doing this? Our real inspiration was this online article that I found. It’s about this couple that found out post natally (after birth for you non latin majors) that their baby son had DS. Well, one side of inlaws was there, at the birth, so they knew right of the bat, but the other side of the family, they didn’t want to announce it to them until they’d been able to see their newborn son.
Ms. Lim Messina's family had been present at the birth and were aware of Evan's condition. But with Mr. Messina's family, they said nothing about Down syndrome until four months later, when they traveled to New Jersey for a family visit. They wanted the family to meet and play with Evan first. Only then, once they had held him in their arms, did they tell them that Evan has Down syndrome. The reaction, says Mr. Messina, was supportive.
I think this following quote really clinched it for us:
"I wouldn't send out a birth announcement saying that my son, the pre-diabetic, had been born, or that my son, who has a genetic predisposition to obesity, had been born," said Mr. Messina…
which makes perfect sense! Our daughter is a little baby, a beautiful girl, a young life that will blossom into whatever she chooses to do within this world, she is any number of a million different things, one of which is associated with the fact that she has trisomy 21 also known as down syndrome but she is not “down syndrome.” And like it or not, once people hear that thing about her, if they have not had a chance to meet her and experience her presence and get to know her without the shadow of the context, especially in light of social stigma and the popular misconceptions and archaic prevalent thinking in reference to this part of her, people will judge her by this and categorize her by this and not get to fully experience the richness that is HER, SHE a small little PERSON, who is unique and one in a billion and all those other good things that a proud father loves to say.
Okey doke, I’m done babbling at you (Hi wall!) for now. Tell me what you think? Or not. have a good one, nonetheless….
Friday, March 17, 2006
in response to popular demand....
Here she is, in all her glory, our beautiful little girl.
oh PS: we got great news at the pediatric cardiologist yesterday, he looked & looked and as far as he can see, her heart looks normal and healthy, although he did recommend another heart echo after she's born. This was obviously awesome news and a big relief.
Also, she's still kicking up a storm. We read somewhere that at this stage (after 6 months) you should feel once in the morning and once at night, to make sure the baby kicks at least 5 times in an hour or something like that? well, she kicked 5 times in about a minute as I felt my wife's stomach and drifted off to sleep.
I can't wait to meet her.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Howdy
Well, wood knocking notwithstanding, we got a little scare at the last doctor visit. They saw something they were a little suspicious of in our little girl’s heart, and while even if it is something to be concerned about, it is still very minor, but it will still potentially require surgery, which is of course scary. Something about the line being too straight which separates the heart chambers. All the blood appears to be flowing properly through and in between the various areas, but, to be safe, we’re seeing a heart specialist in a couple days, so I guess we’ll know more then. It’s funny, (well, maybe not very) but you get yourself into the mode of thinking that everything’s fine, that your baby is just that, a baby, a normal little baby, and then they’re talking about heart surgery, minor as it is, but is there such a thing as minor, routine heart surgery? I guess there is, but, well, you prolly know what I mean. Or not.
One cool thing we did get from the visit was a beautiful 4D image of our baby girl, which we have framed in our bedroom. Her little head and her little fingers in her little mouth. During the 4D scan, which is like a sonogram but with another dimension (time), with incredibly vivid pictures, almost like a brown & white video playing, we saw her looking at us, sucking her thumb, moving around, the whole nine yards.
Anyway, just wanted to drop a little update as to what was going on. We’re keeping strong. Still haven’t told anyone about the situation. We’re gonna tackle that later this month. I have got to start working on writing up a letter we’ll send out to everyone in the family, giving the news in as gentle way as possible, with as much positive information that at the same time doesn’t overwhelm. There is so much about Down Syndrome, as I have obviously discovered, that is just not understood by the general population, and I guess that we have to let our families go through the process of coming to understand that, as we have. Not that it makes it any easier. Part of me wishes we’d told everyone right from the start, but it was hard enough to get through at the time without dealing with that aspect of it as well. I’m glad, actually, that we did it this way. Everyone has an attachment. Everyone is geared up to love this beautiful little girl that wants to be in this world so badly. If this bit of information changes that for anyone, well, that’s just their loss. I don’t think it will, but, hey, people are people, and they consistently surprise you as we wander through this phenomenon of life, in good ways & bad.
Hope all is well for everyone reading this, and I’ll try to drop another line or two sooner rather than later.
One cool thing we did get from the visit was a beautiful 4D image of our baby girl, which we have framed in our bedroom. Her little head and her little fingers in her little mouth. During the 4D scan, which is like a sonogram but with another dimension (time), with incredibly vivid pictures, almost like a brown & white video playing, we saw her looking at us, sucking her thumb, moving around, the whole nine yards.
Anyway, just wanted to drop a little update as to what was going on. We’re keeping strong. Still haven’t told anyone about the situation. We’re gonna tackle that later this month. I have got to start working on writing up a letter we’ll send out to everyone in the family, giving the news in as gentle way as possible, with as much positive information that at the same time doesn’t overwhelm. There is so much about Down Syndrome, as I have obviously discovered, that is just not understood by the general population, and I guess that we have to let our families go through the process of coming to understand that, as we have. Not that it makes it any easier. Part of me wishes we’d told everyone right from the start, but it was hard enough to get through at the time without dealing with that aspect of it as well. I’m glad, actually, that we did it this way. Everyone has an attachment. Everyone is geared up to love this beautiful little girl that wants to be in this world so badly. If this bit of information changes that for anyone, well, that’s just their loss. I don’t think it will, but, hey, people are people, and they consistently surprise you as we wander through this phenomenon of life, in good ways & bad.
Hope all is well for everyone reading this, and I’ll try to drop another line or two sooner rather than later.
