the real deal holyfield

Hi. Comfortable? Ok. Now let me lay one on ya. My unborn child has down syndrome. My unborn daughter. She is a little over four months pregnant inside my wife’s belly. And I love her very much. And we were given the choice of whether to keep her or to ”terminate” her, and we chose to keep her, to let her be born, but, yes, we vacillated, and for most of a weekend, the choice seemed to be that we were going to get rid of her, to put her off into the cosmic field, to take the road most traveled (80-90%, by some estimates) but at the moment of critical critcicalness, we chose the road less traveled, the only road for us, the road that could make us feel like human beings, the ones in which we could look ourselves in the mirror in the morning. If our daughter is willing to push so hard to survive against all the odds than what would we be to deny her her existence, ne’sct pas? You know what I mean, or you don’t, either way it doesn’t really matter.

Obviously, or maybe not so, it has been the roughest week of my (our) lives, one that has been full of mountains and valleys, the highest & the deepest, and everything else that intrudes in the existence per se, is colored, nay, dominated, by this presence, this omniversity, of this ideal, this entity, this dillio, that is permeating all thoughts & mindprocesses.

I love this baby. I love my daughter. That doesn’t mean I do not fear for her. That doesn’t mean I don’t sit up at night & by day wondering how the world will react to her, wondering how her reaction will be to us bringing her into the world. But that is something I have to live with & hope against all hopes, hope for all hopes, for the sanctity of life, that it is a positive force, that it is something of which there will never be any dispute hereafter of the goodnaturedness of my (our) decision. Thus it was & thus it shall be.

There are lots of studies & lots of articles & lots of research of which what says that children with down syndrome can achieve just as much if not more than quote unquote “normal” kids, and these are things that I will lay on you at a later date, of that I can be sure, but at this juncture, just know, that whatever happens, this is the decision of which was made, and I never second guessed myself, except in the back of my mind, like all big decisions, but like my wife & I said today, what if this child was made for bigger things, and what if she was not, whatevers, she was preordained to be born unto us so that she could come into this world, and if she was born unto those of different mindsets, not that those mindsets were of any type of inferior structure, and not that they weren’t, she would not be here in the future, and she will be, notwithstanding the 30% odds, as the doctors speak, that she might not make it until the moment of childbirth, and you know what, in all honesty, I hope that she does make it, because I look forward to meeting my beautiful daughter, and knowing her, and learning from her, because, and this is not the only reason because, add in all the other potential reasons that of which of course one could learn & benefit from a daughter in this world & be inspired and made the antithesis of ignorance of the world, but, well the world the way it is & so forth and information getting lost in the nether notwithstanding, congrats &hallelujah for getting this far. More later & mahalo & aloha.